Sunday, February 8, 2009

I was bullied at school for being overweight and because I suffered mild acne. The acne wasn't so much a problem as I could wear make up and take medication to treat it. It was the weight that bothered me the most. I found that boys can be cruel. They never thought I was beautiful and would let me know about it. I don't know why people do this. I would honeslty cry myself to sleep and know that I would wake up and be surrounded by these people who thought I was disgusting. Do you know how that feels? It's terrible to think you'll never be loved. The person who I looked up to, was the beautiful Anouk Pascale. She was born in Stockport, just like me. To me, she was the epitome of perfection, of feminity, of what a woman should look like.

One day though, this boy asked me out. I looked at him. He wasn't bad looking. In fact, he was out of my league, he could be with someone much better looking than me. I said to him, "are you sure?" and he said "yes". So he took me to a restaurant and we split the bill. I went to bed smiling that night. The next day at school, I was lookng forward to seeing him in Biology. He ignored me. Him and his friends were laughing at me. I found out he was dared to go out with me. All the other boys weren't willing to do it, their pride was more important than dating scum like me. So now i still cry. But I have had compliments from RSVPS when dating online. There are a bunch of men out there who do think I'm beautiful. And they are the ones I am going to care about, not stupid boys.